Writers Stricken!

Malton is disappointed at the lack of production coming from the nearly deserted offices of the Malton Herald & Sun. After such a bright beginning, the paper has failed to follow through on its maiden voyage. Speculation is that most of the staff has been Headshot so severely as to cause a near-permanent state of immobility. No one really knows the true fates of these valiant reporters - perhaps they have been destroyed in some gruesome harman ritual, or have merely become comatose in idleness. Not even this paper can discover the full truth.

Tragic as this is personally for these poor zethren, the MH&S and its faithful readers also suffer, as its output has slowed to sloth-like speeds. The current editor is in a mad panic as to the state and future of his fledgling production. Replacements seem not to be forthcoming, and deadlines have come and gone unheeded. “I can haz new issue?” asks one Johnny Bass, of the RRF. The question is repeated throughout the reading populace of the Front and of the city. What could the answer be? Will we see another issue of the MH&S?

There is hope, however, dear reader. Do not despair. The cry from the public is too much to deny - we must continue our work. The MH&S will strive to bring you the best real and pretend news as best we can. We will scour the city to find writers willing to join our work, be they Ridley or otherwise. We cannot deny the people. Yes, Johnny, you can haz new issue.