The Malton Movie Club
Malton has caught movie fever! Whether it’s the cousins of our current residents fighting in the latest battleground of the zombie apocalypse, or simply catching the latest installment of the sacred canon of George A. Romero, zombies and survivors alike can’t get enough of the movie house.
Perhaps this is best exemplified by the zombie groups Sanitarium and Lebende Tote. These two groups have been touring the cinemas of Malton on their own little film festival.
Said one member of the festival, “Oh, we’ve caught all of the classics. Night, Dawn, Day, Land, Diary, Shaun. But it’s more than that. I’ve really enjoyed sitting down with a bucket of limbs covered in butter and watching non-zombie films like ‘No Country for Old Men,’ ‘There Will Be Blood,’ and ‘I Am Legend.’”
The interviewer and interviewee then engaged in an extended argument about whether “I Am Legend” is a zombie movie or not.
Malton Tech film professor Gordon Hirsute feels that Maltonians falling love with movies again is a sign of Hollywood’s adaptability. “For several years, audiences fled theaters as Hollywood kept pushing an inferior product on the American public. As home DVD sales soared, more and more people stayed at home to watch their favorites with a loved one. However, with the zombie apocalypse at hand, most people aren’t at home anymore, and have to go to the movies to receive a much needed escape.”
Regardless of the reasons, Malton’s moviehouses a booming, crammed full of zombies and survivors alike. So you’ll excuse me if I step aside for a moment and catch some Diary at the movie down the block.
Classifieds
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Rooms for Rent: Anywhere in Northwest, West, Central or Southern Malton. Vacancy rates through the roof! 3bd, 2bath apts. available for as low as $100 per month!
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Looking for Love: Kum awn, Cevun. Teh last gaim chainj wint 2 farr!!!! Give teh ahsum sirvivers sum luv!
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Don’t Leave Me: Goolina? You can’t go! We love you! Please don’t leave us! We need you! Hell, I need you! I’m a mess without you! I miss your laugh. I miss your scent, I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
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Plenty of cheap real estate available in South Blythville and Lockettside. Close-out prices! A handyman’s dream!
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Found: Level 2 Civilians. Truell Museum, Roftwood. Please contact AU10 command station to arrange burial.
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Wanted: Able bodied Zeds to join our time honoured team, Group 0. Want action, want bloodshed? Then Marven Mall in South Blythville is the place for you.
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Found: Prescription bottle of Fluphenazine inside NW Nichols Mall on New Years Eve. Name says Dickhole Guy. Contact Braggledorth to claim.
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Christmas Sale: Giddings Mall filled with slightly damaged merchandise. Everything must go! Up to 85% off!
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Roommate Wanted: SZM (Single Zombie Male) looking for roommate in Northern Ridleybank. Your share of the rent would be 5 brainz a month. Must be willing to put up with a mess and NO BARRICADES! Not only do I hate them, but the neighborhood association really frowns upon them. Call KL5-3322.
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Friends first? Handsome single male zombie seeking companionship. I enjoy dining out, shopping at the mall, ransacking, and square dancing. Come have some brainz with me and we’ll see where it goes from there… Contact Talunex at Blomfield Grove PD in Ridleybank
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Found: Left arm, torn off at mid-bicep. Tattered remnant of checkered sleeve still remain. Tattoo reads “Christine” in a heart.
