Can you hear that Ridleys? That sound. It’s the sweet sound of children screaming.
I hadn’t given much thought about the time of year we until we ‘visited’ our ‘friends’ from the Malton College of Medicine. While watching the absolute carnage ensue all around me within this learning institution, I was drawn to look at a text book lying open on the floor.
You may be asking yourself right now ‘A text book? What possible use could a zombie have for a text book?’
None whatsoever, but it had the coolest bloodstain that looked just like a severed foot. I sat down, staring at this accidental masterpiece, growing hungrier by the moment yet completely distracted from the carnage all around me. Then I noticed something else on the pages, something odd: Other marks, but less beautiful, less enticing.
‘15’, ‘+’, ‘=’, ‘76’, ‘%’.
Mysterious symbols, almost meaningless to me; like some ugly, arcane language. I looked around and saw that these symbols were everywhere: On pieces of paper, on blackened boards stuck to the walls. It took my rotted brain a while and then, from somewhere in the dark recesses of my brain, a word lurched forth:
School.
It took me a while, but I realised that this garbled nonsense which I held in my hands was not simply a book, but a symbol of the learning process for harmanz: Simplistic, primitive, pointless. So I asked myself, why do harmanz need schools? How is it that harmanz can be so dumb, even with institutionalized learning? Why do they need a building to do teach in? Are they even learning anything or just cowering in a corner?
Do zambahz need schools?
NO! We teach our brazzahz and z!zzahz EVERYWHERE!
Don’t the zambahz end up smarter anyway?
ALWAYS!
Should we place our faith and the education of our babahz in buildings and blackboards, in text books and diagrams?
NO!
Should we, the enlightened zambahz of Malton, teach the harmanz a real lesson?
YES!
Look at the evidence around you. Harmanity is stupid. They hide in schools and learn NOTHING. They build barricades and we get in anyway; they revive each other so we kill them again. Harman education is a lie! Harman wisdom is a myth!
Because of this, I say “School’s out”, but not just for the summer; not just for anything. This time…
SCHOOL’S OUT FOR BARHAH!
We shall find these broken institutions that mistakenly teach poor babah harmanz to continue breathing rather than enjoying sweet, sweet death. We shall ruin every school we find! We shall teach the students and misguided teachers hiding within them to EMBRACE barhah and ENJOY death. And if they won’t, well, we’ll just steal their brains, because they obviously aren’t using them.
