Ridleybank Vanishes Without a Trace

The RRF, while named after the famed suburb of its birth, rarely operates within its borders due to the chronic food shortages experienced in the Homeland while the bulk of its combat forces reside there for too long. The greater Ridleybank area has provided sustenance for some time, but even the most stalwart zethren would like a change of pace in their steady diet of Kilties and Fortress. Thus it has been decided that the Front will depart its loved lands to spread their message of joyous evolution to hitherto ignorant parts of the glorious city that is Malton. The New Flesh Tour is designed to enlighten, not to harm; to bring peace through unity, as all harmanz are brought to a closer understanding of our ways through direct experiences of being dead.

But there are some harmanz who insist that they stay devolved, and work round the clock to undo our proud decorative work in our very birthplace. They carry more vile weapons than the shotgun and axe - they are armed with clanking toolboxes, smelly generators, and hissing spraycans. They board up our dwellings, ignite disgusting lights in the unhallowed halls of Blackmoar, and, most chagrining of all, they write rude messages across our barnz which we have no way of removing. This can no longer be tolerated. Thus, the RRF has come up with a daring plan. We are taking the Bank with us.

Zambahz have been diligent in their efforts to carry the barnz of their homeland in order to save them from ignorant harman defacement. AU10 has been witnessed toting Blackmoar across their collective backs, while Moggridge PD, our holy place, is the responsibility of that ancient and legendary (some say even mythical) team, GMTBC. Other teams and even individual zethren have also laid claim to various important and/or historical barnz, in a horde-wide effort to preserve not only our heritage but our sanity. The various Excursions and Tours in which the Front participates inevitably lead to a time where harmanz delusionally believe they have been victorious conquerors of our Ridleybank, despite the usual outcome of their being killed by the grizzled and eternal Homeland defenders or the return of the rest of the horde. They rant and dance about ridiculously, generally being annoying to those of us who disdain the breathing of oxygen. The Front’s radical new plan will hopefully put an end to this behaviour for the most part, though one can still imagine a harman gloating as he places a dented locker over top a hole in the ground and claims he has ‘made this place safe’ for harmanz once again.