Welcome to the Third Edition of Ridleybank Digital Press, news for the undead cannibal written by the undead cannibal. Just another friendly reminder that all harman life in Malton will be devoured and join our glorious horde.
Eye on the horde:
After shambling about in the homeland looking for the Moggridge keys the Papa had lost, the horde is now officially is on Excursion! The first stop is Roftwood, a place familiar to most Ridleys as the site of the 6th birthday party one short month ago. Things are looking well for the tour as Hildebrand Mall remains in a state of disarray, with brains being eaten left and right and death all around. Gore Corps Member/Prisoner of the Papa Draugrh was quoted as saying “Normally when two people go at it either one has a 50/50 chance of winning. But we’re zombies so we’ve got a 75% chance of winning to their 25%. And then there are PKers who know they can’t beat us so the harman’s chances drop to 12.5%. So it looks like we’ve got about a 87% however when you add the fact this is the God damn RRF we’ve got a 140% chance of winning compared to their 12.5% chance. Its simple math.”
Turning towards the Homeland, a vandalism spree is being stemmed by the Pretorian Guard and Homeland Strike Team, The Constables. Small groups of squatters have been spotted, but authorities believe that vandalism seems to be the aim of most of these wannabe toughs. It is believed this crime wave will end in a couple weeks after all offenders have been fined a brain and undergone corrections via infections.
Dinner Spotlight:
This edition’s dinner spotlight is on the Dunell Hills Police Department. Widely known for their legendary feud with The Dead, DHPD snacks can currently be sampled in Dunell Hills. Corn fed, they exist in large droves and their inability to accept the inevitable makes them nice and supple, earning a three out of five stars. Be sure to cash in on that two for one special when you go down there to dine.
Get to know a Ridley:
This edition’s Ridley is Oonagh, famed King of all Penguins and collector of full whiskey bottles which he quickly makes empty.
How did find Urban Dead?
Hmm, that’s going way back… One of my brothers was playing it, and I decided to try it out. Sorta got hooked, and I’ve been back on and off since.How did you join the RRF?
Back in the days of NexusWar, I think I’d been inactive in UD for a long time, and snatch roped me in ‘cause we were in the RRF over there together (along with others). My zambah was already all growed-up, so I signed up with TA and started having a good time.How long have you been in the horde?
Since 2009, apparently. It seems like it’s been longer though.In a few words, describe what role you play in the horde.
I’m the creepy Uncle who… Wait, no, that wasn’t it. And it totally never happened, no matter what anyone says.
I’m TA’s lazy (laziest?) uncle, who tries to avoid having to do work, but be helpful anyway I like to think I’m the guy who teaches all our babahz to be incredibly late to strikes, though I’m still the master at it (five hours (plus) late is hard to beat, I think…)What’s your favorite moment with the RRF?
I don’t think I can really pick a favorite… AmeriGore strikes and taking down heavily populated NTs (especially Blackmoar) and malls are up there though. Same with the few whole-horde things we’ve done.
I suppose my favorite type of thing is raising babahz with TA. It always seems like something’s not quite right, when we don’t have anyone to feed. Maybe we get too efficient or something…What do you do in your real life? What are your interests besides Urban Dead? What’s your job like? Do you have a family? How would you describe yourself?
Argh, question spam. Working in order: I’m going to school (University, for those who call it that ) for a Computer Science degree. I suppose I’m interested in the sorts of things most people are… I like computer games, music, football (other sports can be okay to play, but are generally shit to watch) food, booze, women and other stuff As far as family, I’ve got a bunch of brothers, a sister and our parents. Describing myself… I guess I’m shy but friendly. I don’t really talk much, certainly don’t go out of my way to meet new people, but I don’t generally mind talking or meeting new people. Also, I don’t tend to take things seriously, and I like sarcasm a lot. Also, also, I really like (and probably overuse) parentheses in my writing And little things can really bother me (either that or I tend to find them funny). For example, the little white bits around the edges of some of the smileys on here bug the hell out of me. Also, grammar mistakes.What’s your favorite snack food?
Uhh. Again, can’t pick a favorite, really. I suppose chips are generally good, and I don’t think I could live without spicy food, so let’s call it spicy chips. I’m not picky though; I love snacking.Last but not least, what would you say to new Ridleys who have just joined the horde today?
Hmm, I guess I’d sum up my own experience: Come for the brainz, the people and the fun; stay for the people and the fun (and the brainz never hurt).
Papa’s Corner:
Halloween is fast approaching Ridleys, a special time of year as we Undead take hold in the imagination of the world. Certain misconceptions about us are held, simply because we exist in a state of being their prejudices cannot accept. We live as one with utter peace and universal love with our fellow zombie, but still survivors scorn our green skin and seek to shoot us full of bullets and drugs. Our hagz and bites of liberation are brutally rebuffed by those who blindly flail in misery. Anger is the natural reaction to this idiocy, and such anger is righteous, but we must direct it properly. We must be angry at their ignorance, not the survivors themselves, or else we lose sight of our noble goal of bringing them into our family.
So, this Halloween, we’re bringing the fear to scare them straight, we’re devouring them to help them, we must drive them into the darkest terror they’ve ever known so they can find the light at the end of the tunnel. On Saturday October 30th at 18:05 EDT our moral crusade known as Holiday Havoc has its first major stop; the ghoulish, the glorious, the undeniably pantsless Final Fright. We will gather together as one and strike as a force of social freedom, bringing us one step close to utopia with each bite. To all those who hopeless cling to pink flesh: you’re scewed. The game is up. But hey don’t worry, you’ll look good in green. You’ll find its a wonderful way to live and you’ll thank us later for our help.
Continue to shamble and spread the glory of BARHAH, my Ridleys, you make your Papa proud.
Random MichaelBarnaby Quote of the Week:
- jellofun makes a nice pinate for Michael
- MichaelBarnaby gets his M4.
it is shaped like a cat - <+MichaelBarnaby> IT’S A KITTEN ISN’T IT!!!!!!
- <+MichaelBarnaby> DIE!!!!!
Goodbyeee
Thus concludes this edition of the Ridleybank Digital Press. If you have questions or comments feel free to PM Irishmen on these forums and be sure to drop by the horde IRC channel.
Stay undead, folks, and remember to play fair.
