Welcome to the Second Edition of Ridleybank Digital Press, news for the undead cannibal written by the undead cannibal. Just another friendly reminder that all harman life in Malton will be devoured, and join our glorious horde!
Eye on the horde:
The word on the street is “BARHAH!”, following an amazing birthday party with many highlights. Marching out from Quartly Library, the horde found that the kind harmanz of Hildebrand Mall opened their doors to the Ridleybank Resistance Rager. In an orgy of violence dubbed “The Most Bitchin’ Party Ever” by inside sources, the entire mall was cleared within one hour.
In the spirit of Zombiehood, the babahz of the horde were fed a massive bounty. Reportedly, MrNice and Apollyos got so fat that at one point they literally had to be rolled throughout the mall to each of their meals. Gore Corpser Unhelpful was the last breathing thing in the mall, drunkenly slumbering, an adorable hammered angel. With many a cry of “B!RHZHAA HAHGZ”, he was lovingly torn to pieces. With much pride, the mall now stood ruined.
Raising a decayed arm to the sky, Papa Irishmen directed the now totally tanked party-goers to the Herbert Building. Flesh was devoured and infections were spread as the revelry continued into another hour.
With attendees now starting to black out from massive alcohol consumption, epic birthday songs were sung as the event came to a close. These songs, written by Queen of All Kittens/Au10 Aunt, Zemil33, were a smash hit. Zemil33 was swamped with zambahz wanting her autograph and requests for more songs after the party. She was even offered a contract to produce an album exclusively aimed at the zombie market!
In total, 33 harmanz were slaughtered and converted in the counter culture bash, showing once again that what breathers can do, zombies can do better.
Looking back to the homeland, a small contingent of Army Control Corps fled the destruction of Hildebrand Mall, and took to the Blackmore Building, criminally repairing it and erecting illegal barricades. Never ones to miss work, even with a massive hangover, those eternal protectors of homeland, the Praetorian Guard, struck back, clearing the ‘cades and claiming the brains of the invaders. While the ACC is still offering scattered resistance, optimism is high that a reclamation of the Blackmore area will be complete in a few days.
Dinner Spotlight:
This edition’s spotlight is on the Army Control Corps currently being served around The Blackmore Building. In the grandest tradition of buffets, this dinner costs only a single pence, but we’re sad to say it’s low on taste.
You’ll be picking bits of leather trenchcoat out of your teeth for days, whilst distracted by somewhat ineffective attempts to interrupt your meal as survivors randomly bark orders at each other and hopelessly discharge firearms.
Although it is satisfying to eat those who cling to ignorance and hate, this meal is a lot of flash with little substance, earning a one out of five stars.
Get to know a Ridley:
This edition, we’ve profiled Mortificant, Uncle of GMT Breakfastclub and all around swinging cat.
*Mortificant wrote: \
How did you find Urban Dead?
A friend at work mentioned it to me, I read a little on the Wiki about Caiger Mall (Caiger Seige I; Caiger Seige II) and I was hooked, I started a survivor looking to join CMSHow did you join the RRF?
After a couple of days 50 ap just wasn’t enough, so I made Morti and had a look at the backgrounds of groups available, the RRF were (and are!) the stand out horde (Formation). I signed up for Group 2, but the horde was on excursion so we were all bundled into Group 0.How long have you been in the horde?
I joined up somewhere between the 24th and 30th March 2006, so that’s 5 years 7 months. I joined the Breakfast Club on the 7th of April and I can highly recommend jumping into a strike team if timing allows. Being in the horde is great, but I feel that being in a team really adds to it!In a few words, describe what role you play in the horde.
Primarily I’m the team leader of the GMTBC strike team. This involves scouting up targets, managing strikes and making tactical calls during a strike. We’ve a fairly experienced team, so I only really have to make calls if someone asks.
Also as a member of the War Council I keep up to date with horde events and offer input on events and discussions there so that Papa can weigh up/ ignore points of view!
Also apparently I have to give an interview!What’s your favorite moment with the RRF?
There are loads, but heres a couple:
I really enjoy big seiges, win or lose and my first one was when GMTBC did a lot of work in Caiger III. The pressure was on, with 550 survivors in the SE and 10-200 in the other corners. Keeping the flow of needles down was critical and careful planning and team work saw the mall sacked.
A couple of GMT members were racing towards 25k xp - I was one and wcil was the other, I was logging in more often to snipe off weaker humans to try and catch wcil up. But wcil showed his true form and was everywhere before me taking down breather after breather in front of my face and handily beat me to it!What’s your favorite snack food?
Branes! Actually I’m not much of a snacker - but it’s got to be cheese, mature cheddar, stilton, Camembert, I’m not fussy!Last but not least, what would you say to new ridleys who have just joined the horde today?
Firstly its great to have you aboard! I think you’ve made the perfect choice in joining the RRF. There’s a whole gang of fun and friendly people who make this game something special.
If you have any questions, from “When is it better to bite than claw” through to “Who the Hell let this guy be Papa?!” then just let any of us know and we’d be happy to help.
Papa’s Corner:
We had an incredible birthday party and I’d like to thank everyone who came out for the Ridleybank Resistance Rager. Our drunken violence and bawdy singing was a reaffirmation of the glorious revolution founded by Petro. Thirty three kills is a statement to Malton: it says we are as deadly as ever and ready to stand up for justice whenever and wherever it is needed. But, my fellow Ridleys, it is needed now!
Your Papa looks upon the city and is saddened once again by the harman plight, by the truly heart wrenching way they live. They exist as wretches; fighting amongst themselves, full of fear, isolated from one another and ignorantly striking at us as we try to give them the glorious gift of infection.
We Ridleys are a family, one that is kind and true. Zombiehood is a gift that has brought our society internal peace, love and brotherhood. We live in harmony, while they live in chaos.
No more can I look upon the city and weep for the lost. We must march out into our city and bring unto it a renaissance, to save those stuck in the pink dark age. Now is the time to save those who blindly refuse liberation from the politics and frailty of mortal flesh!
We must extend our hearts to these future Ridleys, and bring them to a state of undeath for their own good! We must export the revolution once again, to spread the glorious ways of BARHAH that have led us to prosperity! We must devour them, teach them to ?rise, to give hagz, z!ng and zanz, and teach them the importance of the BANANA GANGBANG! By standing up to those clinging to ignorance and hate, by striking them down and then helping them rise anew as a new member of our family, we will have proven ourselves worthy of being called Ridleys!
Look in the coming days for an announcement, one that will righteously reshape Malton, spread the charity of this horde, and bring our revolutionary way of life to new heights… using holiday cheer.
Continue to shamble and spread the glory of BARHAH, my Ridleys, you make your Papa proud.
Goodbyeee
Thus concludes this edition of the Ridleybank Digital Press. If you have questions or comments feel free to PM Irishmen on these forums and be sure to drop by the horde IRC channel.
Stay undead, folks, and remember to play fair.
