The Ridleybank Resistance Front has always been the face of liberation in Malton. We embrace our liberation from mortality. We liberate countless harmanz on a daily basis. We liberate those who are trapped behind totalitarian barricades, showing them the world outside their walls. We free brains from skulls. We enlighten those who view non-harmanz as the only legitimate source of food. BARHAH! is the greatest expression of this freedom. Working together of our own volition with our brazzahs ahn z!zzaz to free trapped harmanz can only be described as joyous. However, there are many out there – including zombies – who cling to the last vestige of oppressive life. I, of course, speak of pants.
Long ago Papa Petro showed all of us that letting one’s lower body be exposed to the outside world is the ultimate form of liberation. Not only a rejection of harman life, but also the ultimate representation of its arbitrary trappings and repression. The value that mortals place upon ill-founded and frankly hypocritical modesty is the very opposite of freedom. Is it modest to run around in camouflage pretending to be a soldier? I think it’s a cry for liberation. Is it modest to dress up as a scientist and then peddle drugs and addiction upon the population of Malton? I think drug addiction is a form of personal slavery. Is it modest to put on the vestments of holy men and attempt to exorcise a hungry zombie who just wants a meal? I call that blasphemy. Is it modest to wear a tartan kilt and claim that you have both the “advantages” of covering one’s self (which we know do not exist) and the “liberation” of being pantsless? That is outright apostasy.
Pants are to zombies what shackles are to the prisoner. They are a symbol of our imprisonment. Liberate yourself! Show all that you are serious about liberation! Take off your pants!
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