Cry “HARMAN!!!” and let slip the dogs of Graaargh!
- by Mortificant
In November of 2008 the Good Morning Tasty Breakfast Club was getting ready for a party, three years had past since the club had got together for breakfast and in that time almost 5000 brains had been dined upon! A call was put out to the elders who had barely raised their heads in months, claws were sharpened and jaws fished out of the back of closets as the old and the young alike set their eyes on South Blythville with the return of such figures as Bundolo, HairyJim, Lottuk, and Mardigan. The action opened immediately with the 5000th kill being taken with characteristic speed in Preston NT with the slaughtering of Kosmoisdead, and then the party moved next door to Club Doran where they tore through the open buffet with the gusto of those eating a free lunch!
Team America Seizes Malton Rail Assets
- by DJ Deadbeat
Thanks to their absurdly high PULCHRITUDE score, the RRF’s very own Team America recently completed a very bloody takeover of every single railway station in Malton, erstwhile demolishing several police stations and hospitals in order to convert them into even more railway stations. Sources within the team cite the reasoning for this seizure as completely logical. “Well think about it, trains are never on time, and neither are we. Plus we’ve always wanted to have LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS! It makes perfect sense.” One TA member was spotted adjusting his monocle and twizzling a fake mustache, in a robber baron-ish manner.
Scientists Barricade Ridleybank In the Past
- by Johnny Bass
Local Malton scientists frustrated with being eaten on a constant basis successfully sent a member back in time before the zombie outbreak in an attempt to barricade our beloved suburb prior to the arrival of the RRF. The traveler reportedly barricaded the entire suburb in anticipation of the impending zombie outbreak to try and stop the soon to be rampaging hordes. The survivor attempted to assassinate soon to be RRF leaders who were still disorganized. The targets, instead of dying, just ?rose to the occasion. Upon the inevitable arrival of the hordes, the barricades were quickly demolished and the traveler eaten by newly minted hungry zombies. Zombie Sarah Conner still unavailable for comment, whereabouts unknown.
