/pantsless but well-dressed zombie walks up to podium with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in one hand and fidgeting around with a 10-day AA chip in the other
My apologies for my rather public indiscretions in the past few months. I’ve now learned that Bourbon is not proof that God exists and loves us all, but is instead proof that Satan exists and hates us all… by tempting us with the sweetest, strongest, most delicious of all whiskeys… which makes me so happy… and violent… 
No! Must be strong!
Where was I? Oh, right, inducting our the newest member of the Ridleybank Hall of Legends
HairyJim
Hairy Jim is to the strike team what Petro is to the zombie horde. Yeah, maybe there were some who came before him. Yeah, maybe there were some (pretty much only Shacknews and LUE) who did it better for short periods of time. But, damnit, Jim was quite good at killing people and shared his talents with many others.
While other teams use well-regulated strikes that are designed to complete a pre-determined yet varying objective using a variety of tactics at the team’s disposal, Jim always kept it simple: Just break in and kill as many harmanz as possible. While other teams would be concerned about “fading” to other buildings, dragging harmanz to “maximize effectiveness,” “clogging” revive points, or “scouting” targets, Jim and the GMT Breakfast Club were (and still are) all about the killing. They didn’t do it with flash. They didn’t do it with stealth and cunning. They just did it. This simplicity and straightforwardness is reflected in the Breaky Club’s legendary motto: We’re quite good at killing people.
Jim’s history in this horde is awe-inspiring. He formed the Breaky Club around the time of Caiger 1 and found a large number of early-rising Brit players (or evening Aussies or really early or late playing Americans) who almost never encountered active resistance. At certain points he seemed to assemble every single player in the game who played at that time, creating a colossus that could not be stopped or contained. At their peak, the Breaky Club could eat over 20 harmanz a day with ease.
His organizational skills were so great that he was eventually promoted to oversee all of the strike teams in the RRF. For a time the GMTBC were the enforcers of Group 2 the way that Team America are the enforcers of DoHS now. When Group 2 went the way of the Dodo, the Breaky Club was allowed to strike out on their own – because they were big enough and good enough to do so without ever being stopped. They built up their legend, emptying over 100 harmanz (supported by an incredible revive operation) out of the Whatmore NT in Yagoton. They would literally refuse to leave a target until it was empty, which was never long. They were the RRF team that took part in Caiger III (the first time that mall fell), showing Shacknews how to kick it old-school. They were the ones who broke the back of the original 5th of November incursion, crushing harman resistance at the Blackmore Building while the other teams were trying to a create a less-effective diversion at Nichols Mall. They won the first Ridleybank Special Olympics, showing younger Ridleys how it’s done.
While real life took Jim away from the Breaky Club, they carry on in his spirit to this day. They were the ones who broke the back of the Malton Medical College when even the younger and supposedly stronger strike teams couldn’t do it. He made the strikes so much fun and created such a great espirit de corps amongst his teammates that many of them still strike today creating the core of our old-timey veteran population.
So this is for Jim (/raises cup of coffee). Many have followed in your footsteps, none have done it better.
Barhah!
