Amidst all this harman ruckus about “health care” and “reform” and “teabagging” something has gotten lost. Something very fundamental. Something that strikes at the very way harman “society” functions… or fails to do so. What the harmanz fail to see is that the true reform comes not from byzantine corporate or government provided health care. True reform comes from the way people live. Or rather, unlive. Today I am going to take on all a series questions frequently asked during this health care debate and explain why the RRF Health Plan (brought to you by death) is far superior to any other on the table.
Is single payer not the most simple, elegant solution?
No. Killing everybody is. Embrace unlife.
I thought the market provided for the most efficient allocation of resources? It doesn’t. Markets are a cumbersome and inefficient oddity of those who are living. Those who have embraced unlife care nothing for supply, demand, markets or capital. Any existence that is predicated upon an exchange currency for goods and services is inherently corrupted by livelihood. Die and eat brains. That is the most efficient allocation of resources.
What do you think about the government option?
I’m dead. I don’t think.
Would an employer mandate truly offer health care for more people, or would it simply contract the labor market as employers shed payroll in order to provide insurance or pay the fine for the fewest amount of people?
The only thing we mandate are 5 or 10 ap into the cades from mature zombies.
This is socialism!
No. It’s the apocalypse.
Leave the government out of Medicare!
Uh… the only way to avoid government intervention in Medicare is if all of us die.
Is it true that you want to euthanize the elderly?
Yes. Along with children, the middle-aged, young adults, the healthy, the infirm, the disabled… pretty much everyone.
What about wellness and prevention measures? Would this not decrease demand for treatment of those who are ill and in turn have a dramatic effect in curbing the growth of health care costs?
Health care is free if you’re dead.
Will I be forced into government-run health care?
No. You will die.
Don’t you think the President should provide us with the original copy of his birth certificate?
Wrong meeting. But let me clarify… birth is completely irrelevant to the undead. It’s all about the death certificate for us.
I have diabetes. Would I be excluded from coverage for my pre-existing condition?
The only condition of our health plan is that you’re dead.
Is it truly reform if we leave employer-provided health care in place? Isn’t part of the problem that we tie basic medical coverage to employment creating a perverse dichotomy of those who are well are more able to find employment and get the health care of their choice versus those who are not well and find it very difficult to find health care?
Zombies aren’t employed. Zombies are given RESPONSIBILITY.
I hope that clarified many of the questions people had.
