It’s me. The Ridleybank Resistance Front. My life hasn’t been the same since you let those other little startup hordes move in to your ransacked buildings. I was angry when you opened Hildebrand’s door to any zombie able to crawl. I was upset that I was no longer the only horde to graze your ruined, destroyed pastures. But I was wrong SSZ. I want you. And deep down in your heart, you know that you want me too. You know that we were meant to be together.
Take me back Survivor Security Zone. Please baby. I can change. It will be different this time, I promise. We can do all those things that you used to love to do: the long, romantic walks along the endless revive queue lines. Candlelight dinners on top of the remains of Tynte Mall: You, in your flowing black duster with the matching camouflage ammo belts. And me, in my tattered, blood-stained clothes, holding a bottle of Pinot Gris with one hand, and your jugular with the other. The way love should be. The way we used to be.
All I ask for is one more chance baby. One more time to show you that I have changed. Come on baby. I am a different horde now. I have grown. I have matured. I am tired of running around Malton, eating my way from one suburb to another. That isn’t love. I want to settle down. I want to be with you baby. With you and you alone.
You remember the good times, don’t you Survivor Security Zone? God, we were so hot together. Do you remember when I used to raze your outer police stations before moving into your inner Mall core? Remember when I took Hildebrand down overnight this past summer? Yeah you do you little minx. Man those were good times. We used to be so great together.
And you want to throw it all away? Like nothing happened? Like we didn’t happen? Well fine. Go. I don’t need you anymore. I never did. You are dead to me. Hear that SSZ? DEAD. Besides. I found someone else. Want to know who I am with now? North Blythville. And guess what? They are a much better lover than you could ever hope to be.
Oh God. I am so sorry Survivor Security Zone. I am drunk. I didn’t mean it baby. God I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me. Please just take me back. Please. It will be better this time. I promise.
Just me, you, and a bunch of empty, ruined buildings.
Love, Ridleybank Resistance Front
